Reconciliation

Jesus explicitly commands us to forgive. While forgiveness is always required by God, it does not always lead to reconciliation. Forgiveness starts with us and focuses on God before it ever looks at anyone else. The ability to forgive is given to us by God through the Holy Spirit.

 The goal of reconciliation is restoring a broken relationship. Reconciliation involves forgiveness but it goes well beyond. While forgiveness requires nothing from the person we’re forgiving, reconciliation is a process conditioned on the attitudes and actions of an offender.

 The three main considerations affecting the process of restoration are:

• The attitude of the offender - Reconciliation requires repentance from the offender and the rebuilding of trust. Regaining trust and restoring a relationship is difficult if the offender refuses to see their wrongs.

• The severity of the offense - Some offenses may require the enforcement of certain boundaries. Others can prevent the possibility of any relationship.

• The pattern of the offense – Are the offenses being repeated?

Offenders show genuine repentance when they acknowledge the hurt that they have caused and are willing to accept full responsibility for their actions. They will welcome accountability without a defensive attitude and will not continue in their hurtful ways. The offender will be willing to make restitution where necessary.

God’s expectation for reconciliation is for us to seek it whenever possible. Romans 12:18 “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

 Jesus gave us specific instructions concerning the need for reconciliation:

 Matthew 5: 23-24 “if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First, go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”

 Here are some guidelines for the process of restoration:

Be honest about our motives. Our desire should be to restore and please God - not to seek revenge.

Be humble in our attitude. Do not let pride stand in the way of restoration.  

Be prayerful about the one who hurt us. Jesus taught his disciples to pray for those who mistreat them.

Be willing to admit ways we might have contributed to the problem. 

Be honest with the offender. Honestly express our hurts to the offender but not as a means of manipulation and punishment.

Be clear about the guidelines for restoration.

Be alert to the Enemy’s schemes. Don’t allow him to gain a foothold in our lives over this.

Be mindful of God’s control.  Note how God may be using the offense for good. What sins and weaknesses of ours are being exposed? What character qualities are we being challenged to exercise?

Be realistic about the process. Restoration often requires time

Broken relationships can impact our walk with the Lord. We should intentionally seek reconciliation to remove any barriers for spiritual growth and intimacy with God. We cannot control how our offender will respond to us, but we can obey God’s commands as we seek to “live in peace” with others.

Is there anyone that you need to reconcile with? Take a step this week.

Stay Hungry,

Big E

Matt. 5:6