Unforgiveness

Our faith is founded in its entirely on the concept of forgiveness. What would Christianity be without it? I’m really not sure but it would have to be called something else because it certainly wouldn’t involve Christ.

Why do we sometimes find it difficult to offer forgiveness to others when we have been given this amazing gift from God?

Grace is is another word for forgiveness. It comes from the Greek word “charis” from which we derive the word charity. Charity involves giving which means that forgiveness is also about giving. It is the gift of grace. It is not always an easy thing to do to give someone something when we have been wronged - especially when we don’t feel that they deserve it.

Unforgiveness has many unsavory consequences for us and for those around us. It is a poison for our walk with the Lord and relationships with His people. As the old saying goes:

Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

We think that we are punishing the other person by withholding forgiveness but we are actually poisoning ourselves. More than just impacting our relationship with the other person, it impacts those around us and our ability to serve as God has called us to. Living in bitter unforgiveness does not bring out the best in us in any fashion.

Here are some basic truths about forgiveness:

1. Forgiveness is not a feeling. If we are waiting until the feeling to forgive comes upon us, it may not occur for awhile - or ever. Forgiveness is an act of obedience to God stemming from gratitude for His grace. How can we expect Him to offer forgiveness to us when we won’t extend it to others?

Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

2. Forgiveness is not about being deserving. Pretty simple here - Are we deserving of the grace that we receive from God?

3. Forgiveness is not pretending you were not hurt nor is it condoning the offense. Since someone has betrayed our trust or hurt us in some way, it is OK to recognize and feel the hurt. However, in most cases it is best that we are able to forget the offense and move on. In other cases, we should forgive but keep a memory that protects us or our loved ones in the future. Trust may have to be rebuilt with some people and others might need to be avoided altogether. Ultimately, our forgiveness will free us from bitterness.

4. Forgiveness doesn’t always remove the responsibilities of the offense from the offender. Forgiveness doesn’t eradicate responsibility. It’s not unloving to hold someone accountable. Often, accountability is the most loving thing we can do because it could lead to repentance.

There is a lot that goes into becoming a good forgiver. It requires spiritual maturity to make progress in this area. However, a key starting point for growth is our ability to recognize all of the sin in our own lives. The more that we have full recognition of just how sinful and broken each of us are, the easier it becomes to forgive others.

When we have full recognition of our own sin, it makes us appreciate God’s grace that much more and makes us dependent on His grace instead of our own prideful record. A grateful heart can far more easily “give grace” to others. After all, forgiveness is about giving and is done with full view of the incredible gift that we have already received.

Stay Hungry,

Big E

Matt. 5:6